Breathe.
Let the time pass.
You've struggled, you've pushed yourself toward your goals. But you've hit a stopping point. You don't feel like you're at the top of the mountain yet but there is nothing left to be done and the next steps are out of your control.
This is such an interesting position to be in, you might feel lost and you might feel lazy. When I get to this point I feel pretty weird. I feel scared that I'm not doing enough and everyone (invisible people in my mind) is judging me for not being in the middle of a productive activity. I start beating myself up for not working hard enough.
I have to remind myself that goals and plans are important, and hard work is a great ingredient but sometimes I have to let life do its thing. If you're a control freak that is a huge ask.
"What do you mean I'm supposed to give up control to life? Life?? What is that?? I can't even see that! How do I quantify or qualify life?? How do I stand still and put my trust in some invisible current?"
Does this sound familiar to you?
We should all feel a bit more comfortable with loosening the reigns, but living in a culture that assigns individual worth based on what you're working toward can make not constantly climbing feel shameful.
I promise you're not a disgrace. You're doing the best you can. Enjoy the natural pause life has given you by clearing your to do list. Soon enough you'll have a new list full of tasks and you will miss this time.
Lots of love,
Ara <3
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